Saturday, May 03, 2008

A Very Special Guest Meme

Hi, I am the newest member of Kitchen Chez KJ. When KJ told me that she was tagged for a meme by Fiona over at Cottage Smallholder I begged her to let me do it. You know as a way of introducing myself to the world. She said I could, so here goes.

What I was doing ten years ago

Oh you know, just hanging around underground as ore and stuff. Finally I got dug up and processed and here I am.

My to do-list today.

Well mornings are my busiest time. I’ll start off doing some slices of thick cut wholemeal flour loaf at around 8am-ish.

Then I've got a meeting of the Breakfast Cereals are Evil League. Toasters have come together to foil a massive conspiracy to weaken the human race. Greedy breakfast cereal manufacturers are using subliminal messaging to turn people away from physcially, socially and emotionally nurturing toasted bread products and toward the empty debilitating nothingness of corn flakes and coco pops. They must be stopped.

Then I’ll have a bit of a snooze until about 7pm-ish when I’ll be working on some ciabatta to go with soup for dinner. Then I’ll hang out and gossip with the jaffle iron until about 10pm-ish when I’ll knock up some fruit ‘n spice muffins for a late night supper.

Snacks I enjoy

Well naturally I enjoy all kinds of bread products, but my favourite has to be crumpets. Getting that crisp crunch just right and with the oozing butter and syrup, just yummy. Thanks to my dedicated setting I'm a bit of a crumpet expert, if I do say so myself.

Things I would do if I was a Billionaire

I would retire to a custom built kitchen by the sea and toast just for fun. You know the odd bap here and there. Maybe a bit of turkish bread every now and then just for kicks.

3 Bad Habits

I beep annoyingly at people if they don’t come and collect their toast asap. I’ve taken the time to toast it, the least they can do is eat it while it’s still hot.

Other than that I am a well functioning machine. I do not do idiosyncrasies.

5 placed I have lived

Various mines. Dull and dirty places. I was glad to get out of there.

The Breville toaster factory where I was born. My memory of those days is pretty hazy.

The wholesale wharehouse. It was fun hanging out with all the other toasters. We had some wild nights in that place. The stories I could tell.

David Jones small appliances section. It was hard work, you always had to be putting your best foot forward. Keep yourself shiny that kind of thing. The staff got testy if their sales figures weren’t up to scratch.

The cupboard under the sink. It’s a cool pad. The pasta machine and I are best buds. And there’s a very fit little magimix living in the far corner. We’ve been looking at each other significantly for a while now. I’m in with a chance there. So long as that moronic food mill doesn't keep pushing his way in. Idiot!!!

5 jobs I’ve had

Well it's just been domestic work so far. But I'm keen to go into showbiz. I've got the looks. But just as a sideline you know. Maybe a bit part in Neighbours or Home and Away. Those people are always hanging about in the kitchen. I could just be an extra sitting on the kitchen bench. Maybe getting the odd action shot in breakfast scenes - doing a bit of toast or muffins here and there. Who knows!!

So that’s me. KJ said not to tag anyone. Rather anyone who wants to join in feel free. Casting agents can contact me through KJ's email address.



At 6:56 pm, Blogger Cottage Smallholder said...


What a brilliant fun post!

I dropped by to tell you that I've tagged you for another meme - a foodie book one. Perhaps another appliance can help you out?

At 10:46 pm, Blogger grace said...

very cute! i often have to referee toaster-food mill battles. the toaster usually wins. :)

At 9:06 pm, Blogger KJ said...

Hi Fiona, thanks. Thanks for the tag, I will answer shortly, hopefully.

Hi Grace, glad I am not the only one :-}

At 12:41 am, Blogger Laura Paterson said...

ha ha ha ha - how funny - great post!!

At 5:55 am, Blogger Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Bonkers.... but brilliant! x


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